who'd have kids ? just a joke!

Je l'aurai ! (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/cling.gif)

On le trouve facilement (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/cling.gif)

Trop tard : nouveau numéro depuis mercredi dernier ! (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/beuh.gif)

C'était un n° spécial (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/cling.gif)

pour info: (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/cling1.gif)


Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell
happened. -Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut
the bitch up with cookies. (Unknown)

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows. -Janette Barber-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -Carrie Snow-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he
can't. -Rhonda Hansome-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me
at once.. -Jennifer Unlimited-


If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning. -Catherine-


I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb -- and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton-


If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-


When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. -Elayne Boosler-


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-


In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything
done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-


I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career. -Gloria Steinem-

(IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif)

(IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/an_ouarf.gif)

(IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif)

Bon, je vais chercher, alors (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/cling.gif)

Look at this!! http://www.jesusandmo.net/

1. THE PHARMACIST


A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some
cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the
law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all
kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you CANNOT have any
cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well,
now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

2. The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need
his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she
would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see
why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

3. I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask ... is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he
grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when every thing else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look
like a 20 penny nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't
get his pants off.

Ce message a été modifié par joanne_192 - 02/03/2006 16:55.

(IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/an_ouarf.gif)

Have you got Parkinson ? (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif)

I hope not. I tried to edit, but it didn't work. sorry! (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/glass.gif)

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.
(IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/an_what.gif)

You know what? I do smoke Camels (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif)

With a condom?

But is that all you do with a camel ? !!! (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/an_ouarf.gif)

BLONDE COWBOY

........The sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the side walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you walking around like this?”
The cowboys says...”Well it’s like this sheriff...l was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go to her motor home with her. So l did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt....so l did.Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so l did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts....so l did. The she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says. “Now go to town cowboy...” *

“And here l am”

Son of a Gun, Blonde men do exist!




* = mets-toi à l’oeuvre/ va en ville

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Guess what ! (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/cling.gif)

Are you a blonde, by any chance ? !!! but not a cowboy! (IMG:http://forum.ripp-it.com/style_emoticons/default/beer.gif)
Ah! a blonde cowboy sodomite who didn't win an Oscar!

Ce message a été modifié par joanne_192 - 07/03/2006 23:00.